The Other Side

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age,  Titus 2:11-12

The next series of posts may make me very unlikable but I am going to chance it.

Most television shows, movies, and books indicate child molesters and/or child rapists are considered fair game in prison and they are often killed or raped themselves. Recently I watched a police drama in which the main character told the sexual offender “prison inmates are going to enjoy meeting you.” Am I the only one who sees this as contradictory to the purpose of the police?

I cannot think of a crime more heinous than child abuse and sexual assault. There is a rage that starts in the core of our being because children are helpless. The physical and emotional trauma is overwhelming and takes years to work through. Looking at my nieces and nephews and thinking about what happened to me at their age will stir a primal anger in my body.  Abusing the helpless is a coward’s crime and I believe it could be one of the reasons the sexual offenders are at the bottom of the prison hierarchy.  Does it indicate justice if an abuser is raped?

I want to look at this from a different angle.  Yes, I was abused and have spent many years recovering my life, but I have a life to recover.  Any time I have told others about the abuse or led them to my blog, they will tell me how sorry they are it happened and will even express a sense of anger.  I get that. Children are abused, raped, molested and then murdered and it is horrific. We imagine their suffering, fear, and pain and react, which is totally normal.  

Here is the unpopular part.  Why would we wish this on anyone else? In the name of justice we think it is okay for an offender to be raped or abused in prison. Why? Does this bring justice to their victim(s)? No. There will not be justice on earth that will ever make up for what was done.  There is a part of me that wished my abuser could experience even a little of what he put me through, to experience the helplessness, betrayal, and pain.  The feelings were born purely out of revenge, a selfishness blinded by anger.  A few months ago I felt cheated out of revenge and justice.  I could have very easily upset my abusers lives simply by exposing them or telling their families.  Now I am relieved I did not act out of revenge.  It would have served a selfish purpose and my recovery is not dependent on it.  

As children of God we are called to forgive and love another as Christ loves us.  I am not in a place to really love my abusers this way, but forgiving them and giving my demand for revenge to God has brought a sense of peace.  It is not taking up as much space in my brain as before.  

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

There is not a hierarchy for sins.  Sin is sin.  No one is better than anyone else.  Society seems to be judging sins in order to set themselves apart from others.  Criminals do need to be punished and order established in that way.  However, I no longer feel abusers should experience abuse and/or rape as we did.  

For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; 1 Peter 3:18