For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:5.
Without always knowing we need it, we (abuse survivors) are seeking safety and assurance we are valued. These are 2 of the biggest things taken away from us when we are abused. I imagine most of us go through periods of being so angry at God for "letting" the abuse happen. We think He should have protected us and had the abusers hit by a bus before they got to us (personal favorite wish). The problem with that is free will, which he gave all of us. He does not want us hurting anyone either but yet we have the choice also. It may never be to the extent we were hurt, but still sin nonetheless.
The above verse gives me a sense of value. I know I am valuable to my husband, kids, most of my family, and friends, but that value seems finite and can sometimes depend on our actions. It does not have the feeling of being unconditional. Our value with God is unconditional. His putting us in a valued place (shelter of his tabernacle) almost feels like he is putting his arms around us, keeping us close, when others are hurting us, or when times are really difficult. Our bodies were not protected during the abuse and our hearts are wounded and empty sometimes, but He was there with us. It may take years for us to realize how He did protect us. We survived, we have hope, we have value, and He can heal. We made it through to the other side. As a little girl I lost the safety of my earthly surroundings and I am fighting to gain a little of it back within my husband, family, and friends. The picture of me as a little girl having her safety and sense of value stripped away in a heartless series of acts is awful, but when I see that same little girl sitting with God in a treasured place, protected by his love, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude and hope. It may not have felt like I was being sheltered then, but I was so that I can have a future.
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