God Understands

I never realized how much God really does understand the effects of sexual abuse. I had always tossed Him aside saying to myself “He really does not understand what I am going through.” Most of this time I was also blaming Him, so that contributed to my rebellion.

In reading On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg about recovering from abuse the author mentioned the story of Tamar in the Old Testament, 2 Samuel 13:1-22. Tamar’s half-brother (Amnon) and his cousin tricked her into being alone with him and then raped her. When he was finished he took his anger at himself out on her. He disgraced her in front of the house staff and destroyed her spirit. She sought consolation from her brother (Absalom) and he told her “not to take it to heart.” When her father, David, heard what happened he was angry but never said a word. Tamar was alone in her shame with no one to help her. Those she trusted either violated her or failed to care about her pain. Sound familiar?

This story in the Bible was almost earth shattering for me. It definitely became a turning point for me. I realized that God does understand what abuse and rape does to us emotionally. Verse 20 states ...Tamar lived in her brother’s home, bitter and desolate (The Message). A couple of years later her brother killed her attacker but I am not sure that provided any relief for Tamar. Sure, she would no longer have to face him should the occasion arise, but her self-worth had already been destroyed when no one came to her rescue immediately. Her sense of value was already gone and she had a bitter heart. I would like to think Absalom finally decided to kill Amnon after seeing the effect the rape had on his sister on a daily basis. Maybe by then his anger of what was done to sister finally reached the point Tamar had needed from the beginning. Setting Amnon up to be killed was wrong, but certainly understandable.

Tamar did not have knowledge of the healing power of God that we have now. There does not seem to be anything written that indicates anyone showed her His love or implied that He understood. I have that. I can read through His word and now feel His understanding of my wounded heart, bitterness, and the shame. I can feel the words reaching my heart, pushing out the bitterness and reassuring me that I am not the one who should feel shame. It is my abusers’ sin and shame, not mine.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14. Our abusers hindered us but the kingdom still belongs to us. We just need to keep seeking God’s wisdom, recognize how valuable we are to Him, and accept His son Jesus. God can heal us because He understands our pain. Just simply knowing that He “gets it” is enough for me. I have someone in my corner who will always be there to rescue me and provide comfort. I do not even need to ask necessarily; I just need to accept it.