Every Sunday we are given a list of verses to study through the week after Life Groups, a.k.a Sunday School. Usually this slip of paper ended up in my Bible cover pocket and I forgot about it. This obviously points to a problem with my lack of daily study, but that is an issue for later.
One week was different. I evidently slid it into my ever present tote bag and found it Tuesday while at work. On my lunch break I decided to read the verses assigned for the first 2 days, all of which were in Acts. The following got my attention and started the wheels of my brain to turn.
Acts 2:4-6 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment , because each one heard them speaking in his own language.
It occurred to me that the Holy Spirit is still reaching me using a language or circumstance that speaks directly to me. The message is the same but how I receive it is different. It speaks to me in different ways, mostly based on the circumstance I find myself. Ever since I was little I have heard the Gospel of Christ and how he saved us. As a little girl in vacation bible study I heard it in a way that a child could understand. When I became a teenager the gospel was presented through a church youth group in ways that applied to a teenage life.
I started to remember bits and pieces of the abuse at the age of 12 and started to rebel against God. I never considered the rebellion related to the abuse. I blamed it on other things. The church I attended broke apart and I refused to go a different one. I still knew the Gospel and its message but ignored it. I knew Jesus saved me but I was not willing to be rescued because I did not think I needed it.
I pretty much avoided church until I started dating my husband, at age 26. I had been to church on and off but never regularly. I never forgot the message but was not receptive. It was not a foreign language but it was a language I was no longer relating to or understanding. I had essentially cut God out of my life and was not willing to make changes. I pretty much counted on him in case of emergency.
When Paul was traveling he preached the Gospel in languages the people around him understood.
And as Paul was about to be brought into the barracks, he said to the commander, ‘May I say something to you?” And he said, “Do you know Greek?..” Acts 21:37.
And when they heard that he was addressing them in the Hebrew dialect, they became even more quiet; Acts 22:2.
Attending group and in my sessions with my therapist I was hearing how God was there for me and how he could help me heal. I was still resistant. I mentioned in an earlier post I read in the book On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg. The author pointed out a passage in the Bible that completely changed my perspective. It was the turning point in my recovery and relationship with God. I sat back in the chair and said to myself, “Whoa.” My life has been different and hopeful since that time.
As I recover from the abuse the Holy Spirit is presenting the Gospel to me in a whole different way. It is teaching it to me in a language of hope and healing. In group I am with women who understand where I am coming from and are speaking the same language of recovery. Yes, I still need the practical ways to apply it to my life, but this feels different. Jesus has saved me in so many different ways. I survived the abuse and am plowing through the recovery with confidence that I will succeed. Some days I am less confident, but the Holy Spirit will gently remind me, or sometimes hit me over the head, with the truth of how much hope and healing there is to be experienced. No matter where I am in life, no matter the pain, or just looking for the energy to open my eyes and get out of bed, the spirit of God is with me, encouraging me. He speaks to me in a language I can understand as long as I listen closely. He sees who he made me to be, his child to love, and someone to celebrate.
The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
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