Understanding God the Father

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in his holy dwelling. Psalm 68:5

 I am one of those people who has to experience something first hand or have a visual demonstration to fully grasp a concept. This served me well in math class but not particularly helpful in matters of faith.

As with a lot of people, abused or not, my faith in God has been a struggle. I have heard God described in many ways, predominantly as a father. Now I have not had the greatest father examples while growing up. There were issues with abandonment, overall safety, lack of sincerity, and I questioned motives. There are by far worse fathers out there but if our earthly father cannot be trusted or seen as a positive person in any way, how can we grasp a heavenly father? If your father abused you, this idea is not comforting. I have battled with this concept for years.

When I would hear a pastor or church leader speak about embracing God as our father I was not impressed. My mistake was comparing God to man. I was attempting to use my earthly fathers as examples and imagining a faith in them that was not attainable. There is no comparison between man and God however.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3

Can you imagine a father providing all of your comfort, showing complete compassion and understanding? Even without physical arms, there are days I can feel his arms around me. I feel the comfort I missed. While the abuse was a secret and it was years later before I said anything, the comfort and compassion I craved was not there. I searched for it subconsciously with older men, but, as you can imagine, it was not successful. I ended up with more pain and confusion.

Within the last year I have come to God as his child and accepted him as the perfect father. This was not an easy task and I know there were people in my life praying for me to see God as he truly is. God created me and has always been with me whether I was aware. He did not change in order for me to see him as my perfect father; I did. I had to open my heart and let this wash over me. I accepted his power to heal my heart and mind, no longer searching for the perfect father figure on earth, who does not exist.

With the deeper understanding of God in my life came the compassion for others. Accepting a perfect, heavenly father lead to understanding we are all flawed. I am working on a better relationship with my biological father but he is not perfect and no matter how hard we try it will never equal a father-child relationship with God. This realization is incredibly freeing. The pressure is off my shoulders to form this perfect relationship on earth. I have accepted the reality and am better off.

My heart hurts for anyone abused by their father or mother. The parental relationship is forever broken. The search for the relationship that should have existed on earth will never end. There will always be grief. If this you, I pray you come to see God as your father, one that will never hurt you and provide the comfort you seek and need.

May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.
Psalm 119:46